Frequently Asked Questions

Welcome to the Frequently Asked Questions page.

If you have a question, please feel free to email me at: zweiseitenprotag@gmail.com and I will both respond to you, and hopefully we can find some trends that will fill this page with FAQ’s.

We now have FAQ submissions!

If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?

I would be a white poplar.  That is because I long ago looked up my birth-tree.  Because of my birthday, I am a poplar.  Also, I’m white.  Therefore, white poplar.

If you were a Star Trek character, which one would it be?

Captain James Tiberius (“Jim”) Kirk.  Mostly because I like to yell, “KAHN!!!!”

What is your favorite color?

Who would play you in the movie? You know…. THE movie…

Dan Aykroyd

Can you describe an atom?

Yes, yes I can.

What is the wind speed velocity of a coconut laden swallow?

It depends on whether you are talking about an African or European swallow.

The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles per hour*, beating its wings 7-9 times per second (rather than 43). But please note that a 5 ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

If your some sort of a-hole, candy stealing owl; then three…

What would you put in your zombie apocalypse survival kit?

Condoms made of chain-mail…I have a feeling there will be a shortage of non zombie ass out there…

Why did you start this blog?

Reed my first blogpost.

Why are you such a big deal?

Penis size.

What is the best way to take care of being horny all the time???

Castration.

Will you date me?

Who knows?